Limbo

Stuck in No-Man's land, stuck in a deep hole with a short ladder. The feeling sucks. Limbo is when you have tried to get out of your rut and you keep getting knocked back. My rut is a hole at a crossroads.

Path 1 is Teaching in public schools. I have crossed the first hurdle by taking both Praxis exams and becoming certified in K-12 music. The next barrier is getting hired, but then nobody wants you because you took the alternate route to get certified (masters in field) and you have never taught in schools. Substitute teaching does not count. With no education degree, you did not gain experience student teaching. That in education is a brick wall. You have to start somewhere. Too bad employers can't see that.

Path 2 is Teaching at the university/college level. On these job applications, they usually say a doctorate is preferred or a doctorate in progress. If a masters is the maximum requirement, as far as education goes, then they usually place higher priority with applicants who've taught three years prior. Again I ask myself, where do you start?

Path 3 is Obtain the doctorate, a degree that opens so many doors. Four things can happen. 1) You are accepted with full funding, the ideal situation. It makes sure you're not in debt until your death. 2) You are accepted with partial funding. It's doable, even if one works and studies on a part-time basis. 3) You are accepted, but funding is not offered. Do you want to go in debt for the rest of your days? Not particularly. 4) You are not accepted to anywhere you apply, deeming your masters degree worthless because no-one will hire under ABD. At that point, most people take a permanent job outside their field. For me, that's like the kiss of death. I have sent applications and currently have numbers 3 and 4, waiting on two more.

Path 4 is get a degree in a field that is employable. Again, money and time I do not have. I would love to study art on a professional level and I hate being the pessimist, but the arts are just not hiring much anymore. Art and music is being cut from schools faster than the pledge of allegiance.

EDIT: I forgot to mention this wee tidbit about funding. I have applied to an international school and schools within my home country. By the time the domestic schools have informed me of their decision, funding deadlines for the international school have long since passed. And what if you do don't get in to the domestic schools? You have to get a student visa and update everything else, stuff that will not be finished before your course starts. No win situation, I'm afraid, or at least that's how it looks from here. JESUS, PLEASE OPEN THAT DOOR!

Dreams: publish a book, have my work in a professional gallery, paint to my heart's content, be respected as a scholar in my field, find my place in this world...

Ralph Waldo Emerson said something alone the lines of "do not follow where the path may lead. go off the path and make a trail."