Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Enough said.

A time for everything, even electricity

There are many things that bug me, but there is one that tops the rest, and that is the use of the swear word GD, which I will not spell out here. I don't care if you're Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, Atheist, Agnostic, Scientologist, whatever...if you believe that using the term is bad, then why do you mock it in a joking manner? What's the bloody point in that? This is me on my high horse. Using any term like that, regardless of whether you believe in it or not, is just wrong. There is no excuse for using it. Swear words are not good period, but if you stub your toe on a door or burn yourself in the oven, at least limit yourself to damnit or similar such words, or better yet, don't use it period. And you can't blame your past or whatever bad is happening to you for why you use that word. You choose to use it and you choose to mock it, even though you find it repulsive, yet you still say it with a smile on your face...basically contradicting yourself.

Rant finished.

Bangor hoodies are awesome. They're lovely and warm, very fuzzy in the inside. Bo likes this a lot!

Just watched Billy Elliot with some housemates. I love that film because it brings back so many great memories. When my sister and I were younger, Mom enrolled both of us in the Linda Scafidel School of Dance. I stayed in for about 3-4 years, and didn't take up dance again until university. There, I took lessons with the USM Ballet Company and I also took part in the Irish Dance Society, both of which I enjoyed immensely. For me and Billy, ballet is just letting yourself go. You're concentrating so hard on the steps and counts that all the worries of the day just fall to the side. I may not have the body of a dance anymore, but like my advisor told me "There is always room for improvement." Similar to ballet in the feelings it gives me, Irish dance has a bit more pizazz. You're bouncing up and down more because you're on your toes, but the movements are more vertical. Whereas in ballet, they're horizontal like arabesques and grande battements. As a former dancer, and hopefully soon I'll be a current dancer again, and as a music student, the feelings that the arts give a person are definitely like "electricity." You find yourself, but just as quickly, you also lose yourself (if that makes sense). The emotion shoots right through your veins. You're flying through the air, sometimes unnoticed by the common person. It's such a public display, yet it's still a person feeling. And that's why I love the arts. I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Lark Ascending

The last three months was a learning experience. Firstly, it was very stupid and selfish of me to even think of doing such a thing to myself. Secondly, acting on emotion causes pain, not only to oneself, but to others. This type of pain makes the blood run cold, like the life candle has been snuffed. Thirdly, much anger built up. Finally, I just said, “I’m sick of dancing around the drama triangle with the rest of them. Jesus, take it from me.” He did. And I flew. I only bring this up (whilst eating pizza at half 2am) because everybody has burdens in some form and there is no need to carry those burdens alone, though this is often the way we prefer it. There is one willing to take them from you. The only thing required of you is the willingness to release it, and just let it go. Grandaddy’s motto in life was “Just let it go.” This is somewhat similar to Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t worry. Be Happy!’ Overall, it’s the same message. Be like the lark, twitter happily, spread your wings, and fly. This is for you Southern fans: Don’t forget to shake your tail feathers!
I have a new man-friend in my life. He is not a boy, nor is he a boyfriend. Mr. Scorpio is my age, a musician, and as a masters student, has around the same amount of work to complete in 3 weeks as I do. He’s fun to talk to and we share many similar interests. Tis kind of scary, but awesome at the same time! Yes, I do have a crush on this man-friend and he knows it. I think this is the first time I’ve ever felt shy, or “giddy” about a fellow. Ah, well, first time for everything right?

I just keep thinking about that song from The Sound of Music.
Climb every mountain
Search high and low.
Follow every byway,
Every path you know.
Climb every mountain.
Ford every stream.
Follow every rainbow
Til you find your dream,
A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Everyday of your life
For as long as you live.

Moment of Gratitude
1. When I was so close to giving up my dreams those months ago, for the friends who snapped me back to reality, forcing me to realise what I mean to them and to others. Life is a jungle, but it can be a paradise when your buddies provide the bug spray. J
2. The wonderful weather in Bangor.
3. For Adam, Gabby, and Charli (Wimmy!!!), today was a bit rough, but I now feel better after talking with them
4. Scalding hot Jacuzzis at JJB…relieve pressures of work
5. For those certain pieces that remind me why I chose this profession.
6. Betty Crocker icing on a spoon. Guaranteed happiness with every mouthful!
7. For people that don’t give up on you, when you’ve long given up on yourself.