Keep Private Matters Private

I find it freaking hilarious (and somewhat sad) that a person who has slandered his/her partner's family in the public domain, namely community boards, gets defensive and makes threats when someone else from that family finds these posts. Call it spying? By definition, no. When one can type in keywords to any search engine and easily find these posts, that's not hidden information. It is there for the world to see, public information accessible to anyone willing to look for it---just as accessible as the U.S. Constitution.

This family thought the world of this person (bet he/she didn't know that), was always cordial, and never defamed this person to others. And then this person posts private matters and her opinions about this family, in detail, in a public outlet. There goes gratitude for ya, right down the toilet. Keep your private life private and don't go searching for sympathy from complete strangers in a public blog. And yes, I am working on the latter as well. This is a public blog and I have to remember that any post can be read by anybody with internet access. But if that person reads my first paragraph, let him/her. It's in the public domain, just as his/her posts were. Get over it. As for the threats, whatever. WHATEVER. If you don't want folks to read your drama, do not post it online because folks will find it. And they WILL call you on it.

In other news, having a pleasant Thanksgiving weekend with the family and the animals. Oh boy, the animals!! It's been a long while since pets have been part of holiday festivities. Keeping them away from the turkey was the biggest chore of the day, lol! Overall, a good evening and I think I will go get me some ice cream! Ta ta for now and Happy Thanksgiving!

Where to start

Really, where to start on this post...

I have a good number of friends, lots from USM, a good many from Bangor, some from Swansea, church, and grade school. Just a few, however, I consider close friends. This blog is something that has been bugging me about one of my close friends.

How would you like to be giving a lift home, a 2hour lift home to this friend, and she complains to other people afterward that you kept the radio on K-Love? (in your own car...shocker!!)

How would you like to constantly defend yourself, your beliefs, your likes and dislikes around this friend?

How would you like to be sent on guilt trips when you're in town and you're visiting other friends and staying with them, and even though you still made time to see this friend, she still hacks you for it?

How would you like nearly every response when you did say where you were or what you were doing to be: Uh huh right.

How would you like it if a friend teased you about a situation which was very hurtful?? CONSTANTLY??? And tried to twist the story around like it was your fault?

How would you like it if every opinion on anything turned into an argument??

How would you like it if the above has become a habitual standard when the two of you get together?

I wouldn't like it and I do not like it. Among that close group of friends, I do have one best friend and she and I are best friends because we have never become like that in the twenty plus years I've known her.

This other close friend has helped me through rough patches and she has had some rough patches herself, but that is no excuse to do me like that. For one, I have never teased her about her weight, or being abused, or for making stupid decisions, or for the type of music she listens to. If she ever lost her luggage (passport included), I sure as hell wouldn't laugh at her because I KNOW HOW HURTFUL THAT SITUATION IS!!!

I know what sarcasm is, but it is not always appropriate.

Initiative

In the dictionary, the word "initiative" has four meanings.
1. an introductory act or step, leading action
2. readiness and ability in initiating action, enterprise
3. one's personal, responsible decision
4. Government


I readily identify with the first three.

I would not be where I am today in many aspects of my life if I had not taken an introductory step or action. Some of us are leaders and others are followers. In my opinion, as an adult, one should make decisions, make opinions, and make something of themselves, despite what others think, say, or do. That is not to say it matters not what others think. If it's somebody always trying to get ya down, that's one thing, but if it is something who is very important you, that's another. Take initiative. Lead yourself.

2. The second definition is very pertinent. You have to want whatever it is you're initiating. You cannot wait around for others to do the dirty work. For instance, I want my doctorate and a career as a university professor and musicologist. I already took the leading step of gaining a degree in music history. Now I am initiating that career path by going for my doctorate, making connections, and making backup plans by getting my teaching degree for K-12. Take initiative. Lead yourself. Open your own doors and find ways to unlock the paths that seem blocked.

3. When it's all said and done, it all comes down to you and the choices you have made. It's your life. The only one standing in the way of you is YOU! If you want it, then GO AFTER IT! No one ever got anywhere by waiting around for life to happen. Take initiative. Lead yourself. Open your own doors. Trust yourself to make and follow through with your decisions. Sometimes the choices you make will not always be good, and that's when you learn the most.

"We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. 12We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised." - Hebrews 6:11-12

So in the words of God, be diligent, not lazy! Take initiative!

I know what I want

And I will stop at nothing to get it.

I want

--a future family complete with husband, kids, and pets.
--to get my doctorate and secure a job before beginning my family (pets are exception)
--to pass the Praxis I and II the first time. I passed Praxis I in Reading and Math, still waiting on Writing scores. And I take the Praxis II tomorrow.
--to make sure I never take my friends for granted.
--to be fully funded by an external party for my doctorate
--to live in the mountains and by the sea someday..preferably the sea being swimmable without using a wet suit
--to give to Operation Christmas Child every year I am on this Earth, starting 2010.
--my kitten to grown up and be a healthy, happy cat
--respect from my future colleagues
--mutual respect for my future husband
--true love like of which the Bible speaks
--to learn to ride a bike, rollerskate, and ice skate
--to get a higher GRE score
--to attend grad school for Ph.D. within the U.S. near the mountains possibly
--to have a life-time of education
--to get a pet after having lost Betty in 2004. I did and now I have Taigh (kitten) and Royal (Beta)
--to raise my children to respect themselves, respect those around them, respect animals, and respect the environment. Working at a daycare, I've seen many a brat. My children will not be like that.
--to marry the man God has chosen for me, a true man of God that has a personal close walk with Jesus Christ
--my husband to be the spiritual leader in the family, though I plan to contribute a lot on my own
--my future family to be active in the church, whether that means in just attendance or in actual participation of organizing events and singing in the choir.
--my future children to be God's children and not the world's.
--to experience a New England Christmas at some point.
--to maybe own a farm in the Alps..sheep..wool...sell yarn, as a crafty person, i like this idea.
--the Christmas holiday to be a major event in my future household
--to spank my children, but disciplining out of love and concern for their well-being only.
--to finish these afghans I've had for awhile very soon!
--a companion who recognizes the time to laugh, the time to be serious, the time to be thankful, etc. from Ecclesiastes.

Life's Lessons

Life is short, plain and simple. In the span of time, 100 years is nothing, hardly a blink of an eye. One is born, lives, and dies, and the cycle continues just as it has for millions of years.

What is it that a lot of dying people want before death? It is probably the vaguest answer you will hear/read, but it the best you could ask for. - MAKE THE MOST OF THE TIME I HAVE LEFT.

So I ask myself, do I want to continue being the subject of mind games, etc.? NO. Do I want to continue living in the past when I cannot change past mistakes? NO. Do I want to voluntarily hop back on the emotional rollercoaster from 2009? NO. Do I want to be angry at individuals because they continue living in the emotions/actions of the past? NO. Do I want to move past all of this? YES! So what do I do? I tend to my garden.

First, I pull all the weeds giving my flowers room to breathe and grow. And then, I plant some new bulbs, bulbs of forgiveness towards myself and others, love to life, wisdom, and above all the bulbs, patience, for Rome was not created in a day. Pulling the weeds and forgiveness towards others sounds contradictory, but think about it. If you don't remove the weeds, your flowers will never blossom and grow the way they're meant to. You forgive the weeds and then you release them, going separate ways.

Then, I tend to the flowers already grown and blossoming. These are the friends that have seen me at my worst and my best, ones that have stood the test of time. If I focus more on the weeds than my flowers, then not only do the flowers suffer, but the gardener suffers for he gradually loses his flowers.

A revered author and professor, Morrie Schwarz once said "Devote yourself to loving others, your community around you, and to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." This has become my personal philosophy. Most importantly, devote yourselves first and foremost to those that support you unconditionally.