A New Start

Wow, so much has happened since my last post. In accordance with my Limbo post, I got Number Two—Acceptance with partial funding at The University of Georgia, a prestigious institution (one of the public ivy’s and the oldest public chartered university in America) located in the Deep South city of Athens.

The Southern states have what is called the Academic Common Market, where if my degree is not offered in my state, I can attend elsewhere, out-of-state, for in-state tuition. Effectively, that saves me about $20,000 per annum. This is in effect til I complete my degree. I’m going to apply for an assistantship for the 2012-2013 academic year. I missed the deadline last go-round.

This is a new start for me, a new degree, new place, new people, a new life. Although I will never forget what happened during my masters year in 2009, I have to move on for my own sake and those around me. What’s that old phrase? “Learn from this and move on.” This is my chance to shine. I cannot go into this degree thinking I will come out on top or I will always be the best. These goals, I will certainly strive for, but I know at times, I will fail. Failure is a part of life and is an essential part of the learning and growing process. I must look at my failures as opportunities. If I never fail, then I will never succeed. But I do know one thing for certain. No matter how tough it gets, I will never give up on this degree. It is not always the smartest that get a Ph.D. It is those that put in the long hours over cups of coffee, leftovers, and piles of paper and books. It is those that cry over their supervisor’s harsh criticisms for a short period and then find new ways to start fighting back and reworking their ideas. It is those that rejoice in the small successes along the way, never taking them for granted. It is those that keep a support network of mentors, friends, family, and yes, even pets.  It is those that keep a healthy diet and exercise regularly (Endorphins make you happy!). It is those that see a failure as a way to try again and learn from this experience. It is those that keep active in their church and in their community as an external release from the daily academic rigor. Basically, it is those that persevere and hang on for the ride.

I moved to Georgia in June, right after Father’s Day. My house is a plantation home built in 1856. This is the same house my parents have purchased for their retirement and they’re in the neverending process of renovating. It is very livable. I estimate living here for 2, maybe 3 years, probably until I go ABD. Taigh is here with me.

I found a church home in Covington, Good Shepherd Episcopal. I have also found a non-UGA affiliated mentor in the form of my choirmaster, who is also the former dean of the American Guild of Organists. She has a BM from Clayton State in organ performance and a M.Div. from Candler School of Theology at Emory U, Atlanta. I can stand to learn quite a lot from her, as I have already. Plus it’s good to have somebody not affiliated with the university that you can ask for advice on academic matters and more importantly, musical matters—one who is local and knows the area quite well. I’m very blessed to have found a church family well before school begins. I am also ringing bells at First Presbyterian Covington, literally 5 minutes down the road from Good Shepherd, and I am a substitute ringer for the Atlanta Concert Ringers, the professional handbell choir in Atlanta. (Georgia’s version of the Raleigh Ringers)

I think that’s about it as far as news goes. I’m being advised today and signing up for classes, always a stressful process. Thank God, I’m Ph.D. though, no more taking 23 hours in one semester for me! I hope to get all my classes on the same set of days because it is a quarter tank of gas for a round trip to Athens from my house. That gets expensive after awhile, especially in this economy. Well if God brought me to it, he will bring me through it!

Limbo

Stuck in No-Man's land, stuck in a deep hole with a short ladder. The feeling sucks. Limbo is when you have tried to get out of your rut and you keep getting knocked back. My rut is a hole at a crossroads.

Path 1 is Teaching in public schools. I have crossed the first hurdle by taking both Praxis exams and becoming certified in K-12 music. The next barrier is getting hired, but then nobody wants you because you took the alternate route to get certified (masters in field) and you have never taught in schools. Substitute teaching does not count. With no education degree, you did not gain experience student teaching. That in education is a brick wall. You have to start somewhere. Too bad employers can't see that.

Path 2 is Teaching at the university/college level. On these job applications, they usually say a doctorate is preferred or a doctorate in progress. If a masters is the maximum requirement, as far as education goes, then they usually place higher priority with applicants who've taught three years prior. Again I ask myself, where do you start?

Path 3 is Obtain the doctorate, a degree that opens so many doors. Four things can happen. 1) You are accepted with full funding, the ideal situation. It makes sure you're not in debt until your death. 2) You are accepted with partial funding. It's doable, even if one works and studies on a part-time basis. 3) You are accepted, but funding is not offered. Do you want to go in debt for the rest of your days? Not particularly. 4) You are not accepted to anywhere you apply, deeming your masters degree worthless because no-one will hire under ABD. At that point, most people take a permanent job outside their field. For me, that's like the kiss of death. I have sent applications and currently have numbers 3 and 4, waiting on two more.

Path 4 is get a degree in a field that is employable. Again, money and time I do not have. I would love to study art on a professional level and I hate being the pessimist, but the arts are just not hiring much anymore. Art and music is being cut from schools faster than the pledge of allegiance.

EDIT: I forgot to mention this wee tidbit about funding. I have applied to an international school and schools within my home country. By the time the domestic schools have informed me of their decision, funding deadlines for the international school have long since passed. And what if you do don't get in to the domestic schools? You have to get a student visa and update everything else, stuff that will not be finished before your course starts. No win situation, I'm afraid, or at least that's how it looks from here. JESUS, PLEASE OPEN THAT DOOR!

Dreams: publish a book, have my work in a professional gallery, paint to my heart's content, be respected as a scholar in my field, find my place in this world...

Ralph Waldo Emerson said something alone the lines of "do not follow where the path may lead. go off the path and make a trail."